Things I Didn’t Know About Hosting That Changed My Life

Smiles brought to you by: hosting and zero dignity.

By Abrilina Bray

When I first signed up to host a student, I thought I was just opening my home. I didn’t realize I was opening my heart, my fridge… and sometimes, Pandora’s box.

Our first year, right before our very first student arrived, I had gotten pregnant with Declan. I’m not sure how adequately prepared I was for hosting from the host family orientation that was given, seeing as I was pregnant and there was a large snack table I frequented.

Why did I want to host? My dad sent me for a summer to stay with our relatives in Iquitos, Peru. That experience changed my life, my perspective, and the way I saw the world. I remember when we first arrived and were going through the capital (Lima) and seeing young children, homeless, digging through the trash. It was so shocking to me. These kinds of things didn’t happen in America. It made me appreciate my roots, but at the same time, appreciate my own Texas culture as well. As a large family, traveling can be super expensive, so why not bring the world into our home?

I Didn’t Know I’d Cry So Much

Ok, aside from the pregnancy hormones that first year, nothing prepares you for how deeply you bond with your students. They become one of your own. The 10 months go by so fast. You blink, and it’s gone. You dread that airport goodbye (cue the ugly cry). I’m an emotional person. Being Latin does that to ya, but I would even cry happy tears when I saw their expressions trying something for the first time. The joy, the shock, and even the terror (like during that spicy chip challenge where their bodies practically convulsed).

I questioned myself a lot those first few years. “Did I mess up as a parent?” “Are they happy living here?” You’re essentially taking in a kid that has been raised a WHOLE different way—15-16 years of parenting done by someone else. And now, you’re learning each other. Cultural clashes? Yep. Growth moments? You bet. But I wouldn’t trade them in for the world.

I Didn’t Know How Much I’d Learn

Here I was thinking I was the teacher—but spoiler alert: they taught me way more. From new foods to unexpected traditions. Heck, some of our traditions actually evolved from hosting! I’ve learned about love languages, ways of communicating, personalities, and so many cultural nuances. Things that seemed totally normal to us were completely strange to them, and vice versa. Every single year, I learn something new.

I Didn’t Know My Kids Would Be Forever Changed

My kids were all young when we started hosting. Hosting has shaped them tremendously. They had zero interest in travel before. Now? They’re already planning trips with their “brothers and sisters” abroad. My youngest daughter has looked into studying abroad, and my most introverted kid—who was terrified of flying—is ready to hop on a plane just to experience the world. That shift didn’t happen overnight, but it’s one of the most beautiful things to witness as a parent.

I Didn’t Know I’d Be Saying ‘I Love You’ in So Many Different Languages

When these kids come to America and cross the threshold of my home, they become my babies. They get added to the chore rotation by Day 2, sure—but they also get love, hugs, lectures, and late-night snack runs. I’ve even become close to many of their natural families. You build real, lasting ties across borders. Even after they return home, they’re still mine.

I Didn’t Know Chaos Would Be My Favorite Season

Let me tell you… there’s not a dull moment in this house. Even the “quiet” days are loud. At one point, I had kids in band, soccer, basketball, youth group, knitting club—you name it, someone was doing it. I’m pretty sure I could’ve qualified for a spot in the next Fast & Furious movie because I was speed-racing from one side of town to the other with a car full of snacks and sweaty teens.

And don’t even get me started on the food situation. Meal planning was less “What’s for dinner?” and more “How do I feed this international buffet of appetites with one Sam's run?” The laundry was constant. The WiFi was slow. You'd find me pounding an energy drink (or a Dr. Pepper). But my heart? Full.

Then came summer.

The students went home. Some of my kids went to their dad’s. The house went eerily quiet. No one yelling across the hallway. No one asking what was for dinner (again). No random dance moves. No weird jokes. That silence? It messed me up.

That’s when I realized—chaos had become my favorite season.

This wasn’t just a chapter in our lives. It was the heartbeat of our home.

And that, my friends, is the whole soul of Culture Chaos Connection.

In Closing

Hosting didn’t just change my calendar—it changed my capacity to love.

And I’d do it all again. And again. And again.

This is what love across cultures looks like. Tellina from France towards the back left; Linus visiting from Germany in the middle; Marco from Italy taking the selfie!