SASSY SUNDAY SERMON: Surviving Thanksgiving Family Drama

(Thanksgiving Edition — with family types we all know and love-ish)

Listen… if you’re already mentally preparing for Thanksgiving like it’s the Super Bowl of Family Chaos, please know:

You are not alone.

Not even a little bit.

Because the holidays don’t just test your cooking skills…They test your sanity, your wifi, your blood pressure, and your ability to stay saved when certain relatives walk through the door.

If you’ve ever tried to survive Thanksgiving family drama with a smile, this sermon is absolutely for you

This week’s sermon is simple:

May your turkey be juicy,

your patience be thick,

and your family drama be QUIET.

‘And lo, the child did take the turkey leg and devour it…for his mother had said “Wait,” and he obeyed not.’

Because the holidays bring out the best in us…and also the version of us who needs a five-minute bathroom break just to breathe and whisper: “Lord… hold me back.”

But before we get to the message, let’s acknowledge the Thanksgiving Avengers, the characters who ALWAYS show up:

🦃 THE FAMILY LINEUP WE DIDN’T ASK FOR BUT GOD SENT ANYWAY

The One Who Shows Up Two Hours Late With Ice

Walks in like they saved the whole event with a $1.79 bag of ice from CVS.

The Gossip Cousin

Knows the family tea, the neighborhood tea, and tea from three towns away.

If you blink wrong, it will be in her group chat.

Thanksgiving hasn’t even started and she already knows who’s mad at who, who isn’t coming, and who shouldn’t be left alone near the wine.

The Uncle Who Thinks He’s a Politician

Will debate the turkey, the thermostat, and your life choices all in one breath.

The Aunt Who Brings That One Dish

Nobody eats it.

Nobody likes it.

Yet everybody lies to protect her spirit.

The Happy-To-Be-Offended Relative

You could offer them a hug and they’ll ask why you didn’t say it with more emotion.

The Little Kid Running Purely Off Sugar and Adrenaline

They are sticky.

They are everywhere.

They fear NOTHING.

The Relative Who Reminds You About Your Weight

“You look so healthy!” = code for “you gained weight.”

“You look so skinny!” = code for “you lost weight.”

They’re equal opportunity offenders.

You walk in the door, and before you can even say ‘Hi,’ she hits you with the BMI Report.

The “What Did You Do To Your Hair?” Relative

Tone: zero filter

Intentions: unknown

Timing: immediate

The Bored Teenager

Hates everything.

Except the dessert table.

Silent. Moody.  Charging their phone like it’s their emotional support animal.

The “I Don’t Eat That” Person

Suddenly allergic to everything but bread.

The Exchange Student Who Is Just Trying Their Best

Confused.

Overstimulated.

Low-key terrified of the green bean casserole.

The One Who Brings a New Partner Every Year

We don’t learn the names anymore.

We just say “Hey… you!”

The Drama Magnet

Walks in mad.

Leaves mad.

No one knows why.

Been mad since the Carter administration. Holiday gatherings just bring out the sparkle.

The One With Tupperware Ready

Packing leftovers before the prayer is over.

The “Help” That Doesn’t Help

Keeps asking, “Do you need anything?”

Then disappears when you give them a task.

The One Who Brings Unsolicited Life Advice

Will tell you how to cook, parent, breathe, or exist.

The Football Fanatic

Doesn’t talk.

Doesn’t blink.

Will throw hands if someone changes the channel.

Will ignore the entire family… but will yell at the TV like the players can hear him.

The Relative Praying the Food Is Done Soon

Eyes closed during grace

But it’s hunger, not holiness.

The One You PRAY Is In a Good Mood

We don’t name names.

We just… pray.

Now… back to the sermon...

Here’s the truth:

The holidays aren’t about perfection.

They’re about presence.

(Yours. Theirs. And the Holy Spirit’s… because listen… some of y’all need Him more than salt and pepper.)

If you’re hosting:

• Your house does NOT need to look like Pinterest.

• Your food does NOT need to be Michelin-star.

• Your family does NOT need to act like Hallmark characters.

• And your exchange student does NOT need a picture-perfect “First Thanksgiving.”

They just need YOU.

The real you.

The laughing, tired, slightly burnt-out, big-hearted you.

When your exchange student realizes Thanksgiving is basically a carbo-loading festival.

And if the mashed potatoes are lumpy?

Tell everyone they’re “artisan.”

If someone shows up with drama?

Give them pie.

Or send them to the porch with the “therapeutic candle.”

If your kids are fighting?

Call it “family tradition.”

Some families bond by cooking together. Mine bonds by recreating WWE in the kitchen

If you hide in the pantry for five minutes?

Call it “self-care.”

My point?

You don’t need a perfect Thanksgiving.

You need a peaceful one.

A grateful one.

A real one.

So, as we step into this holiday week, here’s your reminder:

Do your best.

Laugh at the rest.

And let God handle the people who make you want to set the turkey down and go sit in your car in complete silence like it’s a wellness retreat.

When you and your cousin both stepped outside to ‘check the mail’…but really you’re just avoiding the entire family.

Happy Almost Thanksgiving, familia!

We’ve got this!

Even if the cranberry sauce comes out looking like a crime scene.